Finally i am feeling it..

Photography by Anna Kuperberg - see more at http://www.kuperberg.com/

For the past few days, I have been receiving lots of questions from a bunch of excited ppls, ‘are u excited?’, ‘so how does it feel for the B day?’, ‘do u feel the jitters’?’, ‘have u had the cold feet?’…...

I am sure beloved friends are all excited as well that they bombard me with all those questions..Every piece of advice and every question asked are really much appreciated, I do feel grateful really,but unfortunately, I could not stop stressing myself every time I get them :(

I am new in this..

I am about to enter the biggest chapter in my life and am nervous. You see, I love to take baby steps in everything that I do without thinking too far ahead, one at a time and enjoying every present moment that I have. So, when bombarded with too many ‘what if’, my judgment and feeling are clouded with mix emotions and I really hate every time my heart twitches even with slightest doubt.

So here I am today, finally feeling the JITTERS and COLD FEET …shesshhhh unpleasant feelings that I wish can be disappeared NOW!! I know it is perfectly normal to have a case of ‘nerves’ and that, my anxiety will have a temporary minor chilling effect on the relationship….
I reminded my self to act cool, maintain my composure and not overjudge on petty things!

Truth to be told, I was pretty frazzled that I couldn’t spare some space and time to digest the jitters and mix feelings that I have earlie. Time flies so fast that I feel everything is being fast forwarded. SO I guess, it is about time to pause a lil’ while for in-depth self-reflection.

I arranged more coffee sessions than usual to have a solid & long conversation with the closed ones off late. Its a good feeling to be in touch with your close buddies. They know you long enough that every unspoken and hidden feeling can be traced right away :)

Some even know all your past history that they can read you like A, B, C. Every critical comment being spilled right infront of my face, like a big slap to waken me up..Ouch it can be hurtful to hear the truth but don’t we all need some reminder in life especially when you are straying away from your focus ;)

PAUSE… waittttt

I reckon this entry gonna be slightly longer than usual…so don’t yawn yet.. :)

In retrospective, what have I done so far in the attempt to overcome the unwanted and unpleasant thoughts?

Communicate
- I (We) tried to recognize all doubts for what they are, spill it out and have a good long talk. And be transparent.

I have learnt that communication is the key. Since it is not the time for guessing games, we have spilled them all, blatantly and truthfully. At this point of jittery, I found habits that used to be ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ during courtship can escalate to the level of ‘annoying’, simply because we are getting a little anxious and stress..But Alhamdullilah we managed to walk it through and chill. Plus, one (in a sober mind) wouldn’t have said ‘yes’ to the million dollar question if he/she wasn’t the one kan?

And points to remember (to me especially), unspoken anxiety is a dangerous breeding ground for petty arguments and dissatisfactory. These further can lead to relationship downers before you know it. By welcoming opportunity to talk (or even argue..he3), hopefully it will further strengthen the bond!

Take a moment to reflect on your love for one another.
When things get too overwhelmed especially in the past 2 weeks, i slipped away for a quick pep talk by myself, or with one (or 10 if u like it) of your most trusted friend to think about the reasons that you are getting all fancied up and taking that trip to the altar: because you're about to marry the your love to him/her.

I like to remind myself, or have somebody else remind me especially when i am a little frazzled, of some of the things that make him so special.

For me, listening to some good love songs does help too, in reminding me of the good feelings :)For now, I love TOMPI selalu dengan Mu and XXX Ajmain (whatever his name and title but it’s a good tune for sure)

On top of that, looking at my favourite old photos also remind me of the initial shy shy love feelings that i have on him..hehehhehehehe rama rama dalam perut they said :P

One of those that i like most. The reflection of energy, youthful enthusiasm and freedom in this photo make me feel at ease, smile and it reminds me of the initial courtship..i always feel young at heart and love muda mudi lifestyle u see :P...and will then grow old gracefully....MUAHAHAHAH

Talk to the young couples for their secret of their success
This help too

But rest assured,

cold feet is totally natural and not abnormal AS LONG as it doesn’t prolog for more than 2 months. If you ever feel that in a prolonged period, then its time to call it off…like NOW..eheheheh and be a runaway brides! :P Better now than later kan??

p/s: Who said getting married is easy? ( I guess I was wrong and being in denial on how easy it will be, the emotional readiness I meant ) Especially when most of your closed friends are male and are so nice to u?!!??

I have also learnt yesterday from Mr. H that perfection will never exist but perfection in your eyes can always be achieved as long u manage to adapt to your partner, and thus accepting him/her in whatever ways even the ugliest one! Searching for perfection or better one will never end, as temptations will always pop out along the way, its either u let yourself be dwelled in a mess that u couldnot predict OR don’t ever let it start in the first place.

Anyway, thank so much Mr. H if you are reading this. You did make me think and realize even though it was hard to swallow your blunt comments at first!

May the force be with me yo! :p

Oh, inorder to curb my cold feet, i reiterate this:

plssssssssssss no hens night wat so ever for me, pleaseeieee i dont want to have last minute cold feet..NO no and no. Fine dinner is good to go tho :)