Sunday, July 1

Hang in there?

Talking about commitment in my previous entry lead to another very interesting topic:

This dilemma has plagued one of my girl friend for as long as I've been close to her (and many others for sure, In fact I gotta admit I was a commitment phobes myself once).

It's enough to make her throw up her hands, surrender and say "forget it!" but she did not. Probably the notion of love is blind holds true in this case. I bet only u (my gf) know what lies beneath it. I am in the position to only advice and hope for the best for u, no matter what decision u make sweetie!

There are lots of commitment phobes who make their partners feel very lovable, desirable and special. But when it comes to the next stage, they back out. They have a great fear..watever fear it may be!!! Most commitment phobes display several common traits.

1. They would show much more interest in you that you do in them They will follow you, beseech you, please you, woo you ? Every trick in the trade to win you over?

2. They will make you feel very special. They will shower you with love and affection. You will find it impossible to resist them, unless you realize what is happening.

However, this ardent wooing will be limited to the first phase of the relationship. They might love u as much but are driven by contradictory feelings. They neither want to give up a partner nor want to commit themselves. It is a psychological disorder perhaps. But it can have serious effects both on the relationship, and themselves.

But before calling it off, it is fair for both to understand why and what cause it. One must realize that commitment phobia is an emotional disorder. Like any other disease that can be cured.

You should not find excuses for his wrong behavior, or try to convince yourself that he is right and you are wrong, dont ever become his advocate.

Finally, don’t grieve if the relationship breaks down. Take it in your stride. Treat it as a fun fling that was bound to end this way.

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